30 Day Challenge Days 15-23 Challenge
Wow, it's been over a FULL week since my last update, and I'm tempted to beat myself up for it (which I won't do). During that time, my mind has be completely off track. The temptation to give up or just do something else is so great, but now the alarm bells are ringing. I'm not gonna lie, this is my current situation:
1) I currently don't have enough to pay my rent (roughly 700 dollars) this coming Saturday.
2) I missed my last credit card payment, due to mismanaging my paypal and bank account,
3) which means I cannot use my credit card
3) I don't have any funds left in US dollars
3) I have amassed roughly $9000 in credit card debt.
4) Last week Monday, I got a job interview and was selected to work for a particular company, but at the last minute they suddenly turned me down.
5) Thus I am currently jobless, and I have NO IDEA what I am going to do at this point. Certainly interesting! LOL
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Normally this would freak people out, and it certainly isn't my most enjoyable situation for me, but having done a lot of clearing on my own, I see this as a fun challenge. I won't deny the fact that I'm literally terrified, yet at the same time, this reminds me of going on a roller coaster. It's ridiculously fun.
And I always thought it would be cool to be in an experience where I would be put into such a challenging situation, like if someone suddenly dropped me in a foreign country and told me to survive, would I be able to do it? I believe the answer is yes, but it isn't without some level of difficulty.
So now I am forced into a similar test: Do I actually have what it takes to come up with $700 in 5 days even though I don't have a job? This is without a doubt a very trying time, but I'm kinda excited about this. I am not about to miss a payment which I've never done, but the pressure to get this done is pushing me to clear all my emotional barriers which get in my way of seeing greater possibilities and solutions. And I'm not about to borrow money since that's just a cop out or a band-aid as it just delays the inevitable where I would face my fears and do something about the problem.
It's time that I use what I've learned over the years to get over my own problems. As I said earlier, I will not complain, justify or blame. This is 100% my responsibility. And it's time I make this change!
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Posted in Personal Development Post Date 02/28/2020