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Go Beyond the Tip of Iceberg: for Job and Love Seekers

I have many friends that are currently in the job hunting market, including myself. I also have many friends that are in the dating market. By listening to their frustrations and successes I realized the process we have to go through is very similar.

How many times we thought we nailed the 1st, 2nd, or 3rd interview but never hear back?

How many times we thought the date went awesome but led to nothing?

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We never know exactly what we did wrong or how to improve our interviews or dates because genuine feedback is not there. After a while optimism is threatened by constant rejections. Thoughts can turn against us; It seems I am not good enough for a long-term love or professional relationship, I'll never find what I want, This is so much work and a waste of time.

This is the way I see it; it is not about us, it is about an inefficient system that is at the tip of the iceberg. Most people assume is the only and best way to go.

Lets take a look at the conventional system of applying to job postings and going through 1-4 interviews. Dont you think it is like going to a blind date? Would you marry a person just met for 1hr or spoke for few minutes over the phone? It is too risky to make a long-term commitment.

The expectation is that this system will produce enough confidence to allow the hiring manager to make an offer to the job candidate. Likewise, it is expected that blind dates will bring enough insight to make a decision on whether or not you would want to continue seeing the potential soul mate in a relationship.

Flaws of the system:

  • Many are looking for perfection. The idea of the super woman/man employee or the ideal boyfriend/girlfriend might not be what the hiring manager or singles really need.

95% of the jobs where I got hired was because my skills we're complementing those that my supervisor did not have or did not want to spend time dealing with. We we're the perfect opposites that needed each other to bring ideas and projects of completion. On the love relationship area, 10 years of a happy relationship also supports this point because we are very different and it is that opposite energy what makes it awesome.

  • Recruiters and Matchmakers are not used to look beyond the check boxes. A good match might require deeper conversations with the hiring manager, job candidate or the date to get a better understanding of the role and needs. Keywords on resumes, online dating profiles and 1st stage interviews are a superficial approach to compatibility.

For example, in my last role as a hiring manager I got more successful candidates from our HR department when I took the initiative to meet with the recruiter to explain the job description, talk about the aptitudes I needed for our intrapreneurial environment and very importantly, to constantly give her feedback about the candidates she referred for interview. I ended up hiring a person that was exactly what I needed; with the skills that complemented my own. It only required 1 interview.

  • The system is designed to eliminate candidates. This is a competitive market and like in any other competition not always the best one wins.

Think about American Idol and how many times a very talented person is eliminated because the other might have more charisma or life story. Quickly convincing the person on the other side that you are the best might take much more than you might think.

The best way to go is to play the game of a better system; the informal one that exists below the tip of the iceberg.

In my experience the outcomes are awesome when opportunities are referred by friends and friends of friends. It is that sense of trust and awareness what makes the magic. Same applies for singles, I know people who we're frustrated with the dating scene for years and they finally met and married their soul mate thanks to introductions.

Since 1999 I got almost all the jobs I wanted from friends and acquaintances, they came to me when I least expected. The HR process was followed but honestly it was purely academic because the decision to hire me was made already in the head of the hiring manager.

Informal situations like these ones can lead to successful outcomes:

  • A former supervisor asked me if I knew project managers from my network I could recommend. I found the position very interesting, decided to refer myself and ended up hired!
  • At a social event, a friend was telling me about his challenges at work and asked me if I could help him and I said yes!
  • Thanks to a conversation with a doorman about my frustration with the job search process I learn his day job was very different, in an organization with open positions. It was exactly what I wanted. I included his name on the application, went through the process and got hired!
  • A friend of a friend forwarded my resume to someone who simply do not wanted to invest time interviewing 100 candidates. Went to interview and was hired immediately!

I strongly recommend to job and love seekers to not assume the current system will always be at their favor. Maintain optimism by getting out there, being genuine at all times, build meaningful relationships and embrace the unexpected!

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Posted in Personal Development Post Date 11/13/2019


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